


now or?

by blairsheart



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Emotional Hurt, How Do I Tag, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Pansexual Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Pining, clueless luke, i don't know what i'm doing btw, pining reggie, they're soft asf
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:00:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27865010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blairsheart/pseuds/blairsheart
Summary: “you guys ready?” alex asked.“yeah man” luke pulled both of his bandmates by the shoulder. “after tonight the rest of our lives begin.”reggie pretended not to notice luke’s lingering hand on his shoulder after alex pulled away.
Relationships: Alex & Luke Patterson & Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Luke Patterson/Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Luke Patterson/Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 82





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> a few things:  
> \- rating is for language.  
> \- this is my first work in this fandom so the characters are probably ooc but you know it's fine.  
> \- this is taking place in 1995 when they're still alive and bobby is nonexistent. lmfao sorry really did not feel like writing him in.  
> \- i totally stole the eyeliner bit from "PrettyInSoulPunk's" fic with reggie and luke so all inspiration comes from their fic! :)  
> \- in general i'm still new to writing fics so i know it's probably not the best but feedback and kudos are greatly appreciated! ily

reggie was in his dressing room. his nerves were at an all time high. they were going to play at the orpheum. _the_ orpheum. he wasn’t even on stage yet and it felt so surreal just _being_ here. his mind drifted to alex and luke. he’s always known he’d be nothing without them, without this band. sunset curve is his whole life. the band was a way to get away from all the noise in his head and just make music. reggie was putting the finishing touches on his eyeliner when luke busted through his dressing room, which made reggie flinch and lose control of the eyeliner in his hands.

“hey reg, we go on in like five!” 

“oh uh yea! thanks luke. see you out there!”

reggie cursed himself for feeling his cheeks heat up partly because of his embarrassment with the eyeliner but also for luke standing there and acting all, well, _luke._ luke in his stupid sleeveless shirt and his stupid hair that looked messy but not _too_ messy and his stupid rings which reggie wanted to run his hands over and-

"reg did i make you do that?" luke asked as he lifted his hand up to reggie's smudged eyeliner.

reggie froze.

luke was touching his face. he couldn't breathe. ok, that's a little dramatic but he definitely tensed up.

luke gently grabbed the eyeliner from reggie's shaking hand. "here let me fix it."

reggie was just going through the motions at this point. he felt luke's hand cup the side of his face so he would have control with the eyeliner. he felt the soft tug of the pencil across his eyelid and did his best to not move.

"there, i think i fixed it" luke said with a grin. he turned reggie around in the chair so he could see himself in the mirror.

"yeah, um yeah, it's perfect" reggie responded. "thanks luke."

"of course! well i'll leave you to it! see you soon."

when luke finally left reggie felt like he could exhale again. what the hell just happened? if he had feelings for luke before, it was just confirmed they were never going away anytime soon.

he needed to focus. being with luke the way he wanted to was just a thought and would always remain that.

he, grabbed his leather jacket from the couch, and closed the dressing room door behind him.

he made his way to where luke and alex were waiting backstage and joined them. he couldn’t help but steal a few glances at luke. he looked so good reggie actually felt a slight pang in his chest. he felt so lucky he was sharing the stage with him, it was more than he could ever ask for, maybe more than he deserved. 

when he looked away he swore luke glanced in his direction but he convinced himself it was nothing.

“you guys ready?” alex asked. 

“yeah man” luke pulled both of his bandmates by the shoulder. “after tonight the rest of our lives begin.”

reggie pretended not to notice luke’s lingering hand on his shoulder after alex pulled away.

***

this was it. it was happening. 

ohmygodohmygodoh- 

reggie was finally on stage. he made it. _they_ made it. he instantly smiled when he saw the crowd. he started strumming his bass, getting into the first song as his bandmates followed suit. the crowd lit up with this glow reggie wanted to bask in. 

they were on their last song, _now or never._ reggie was hot, sweaty, and his throat definitely felt sore but he didn’t care. strings of hair fell in front of his forehead as he quickly moved his fingers, feeling luke’s voice echo through the crowd. it was fucking magical the way luke could connect to each person in the audience. 

as reggie continued to stare in amazement luke did that head nod, signaling for reggie to come over.

of course he went.

they were close now. reggie could feel the sweat dripping off of luke. his heart started thrumming in his chest. he felt a rush to his head, a mixture of the music and the fact that he was this close to luke.

it wasn’t anything new. almost every performance they shared the mic at least once. but this time it felt different. reggie couldn’t pinpoint _why,_ it just did.

reggie felt hot all over. he continued to sing into the microphone, but staring in luke’s eyes. it was _terrifying._ he felt so vulnerable like someone spilled his heart right there on the stage. 

as the song came to a close, reggie moved back to his own mic and stared out in the crowd, trying to ignore the very intimate moment that he and luke just shared. 

it was all too much too fast.

“thank you la we’re sunset curve!” luke breathlessly said into his mic.

alex went to where luke and reggie were standing and joined them for their bow. all three boys waved to the screaming crowd and made their way off stage.

“that. was. incredible.” alex remarked.

they went in for a group hug, taking a few seconds to reminisce in what led them to this moment.

“i can’t believe it’s over” reggie replied with a bittersweet smile.

when reggie stepped off that stage he felt like something shifted between him and luke. they shared something _electric_ up there. but reggie couldn’t help feel like it would only ever be reserved for the stage.


	2. Chapter 2

after the show ended luke insisted that the three of them go out to celebrate.

alex was hesitant at first and honestly so was reggie but luke convinced them a house party would do them some good. 

“do you even know whose house this?” alex said as the three of them made their way across the driveway.

“honestly who cares” an exasperated luke said. “i think it belongs to someone who went to the show. at least i think… she gave me her address, look.” 

and sure enough this mysterious girl did. reggie and alex peered along luke’s arm and across it in faded black sharpie was the address. 

reggie couldn’t stop thinking about the girl who wrote it. he didn’t even know who she was and he already felt himself getting jealous.

he silently laughed. reggie was not the jealous type and definitely not over luke. no way.

reggie pushed his emotions down because how could he get jealous over someone who would never even reciprocate what he felt?

“reggie you coming in or you just gonna stand on the porch all night?” alex asked.

“yeah sorry, i’m coming.”

when reggie walked in the first thing he noticed was the amount of people. it was different from a crowd of people at a concert.

this type of setting made reggie feel nervous for some reason, almost anxiety inducing. he never realized he wasn’t much of a party person because he never truly went to one until now.

 _well at least alex is having fun_ reggie thought.

he looked over and saw his bandmate striking up a conversation with some guy who definitely looked interested in alex.

reggie smiled. alex deserved to be happy.

reggie started walking around the house trying to look for luke.

when reggie found him he wished he didn’t.

his stomach sank when he saw luke leaning up against the wall talking to some girl.

he knows he shouldn’t be surprised but it still hurts. it’s not that he was even upset. instead he just felt _empty._

_why would luke do all these seemingly flirty things to reggie but then go out and do this?_

maybe they were both cowards. maybe it was just easier this way. maybe luke was suppressing his feelings. maybe reggie was just overthinking and luke was just painfully straight. 

fuck this. just fuck everything. reggie really needed a drink.

he went over to the table with the assorted bottles and picked the closest one near him. he rarely ever drank. he saw what alcohol could do way too many times when his parents were fighting. but he needed this tonight. 

it went down rough. reggie sputtered a bit but he managed to keep it down and he took a few more sips. 

he decided to take the whole bottle with him because _why the fuck not?_

reggie went upstairs where it was a little quieter. it took him three tries before he finally found an unoccupied room. 

he turned on the lights and put the bottle on the table beside him.

reggie thought about leaving. but then he knew alex and luke would start to worry. so he didn’t. he just laid there on the bed and closed his eyes. he still had remnants of alcohol lingering in his mouth. it burned like hell but it hurt less than having to go downstairs.

“reg there you are, i was looking for you everywhere. what are you doing?” 

reggie shot up from the bed. god of course it was him. _of. fucking. course._ because this was definitely what he needed right now. 

“nothing luke” he sighed. “i just needed to get somewhere, um, quiet. it was getting kind of loud down there.” 

“oh okay.” 

_why was it so awkward?_ it was never awkward between them. he hated this so much. all reggie wanted to do was hide under the covers forever and forget everything.

“look luke, what’s your deal?”

“what?” 

“for fucks sake luke, don’t make me say it.”

“i-i don’t know what you’re talking about reg. if anything you’re the one acting weird.”

reggie felt himself getting mad.

“ _seriously?_ wow, ok luke. you know what? you have fun ok? tell alex i’m going home.”

reggie didn’t even wait to see luke’s reaction. he pushed past him and ran down the stairs two-by-two. maybe he was making a rash decision but he didn’t care. he knew coming here was a mistake.

reggie’s vision started to blur as he walked along the driveway. he let the tears fall because it’s been a long night. he was tired. tired of feeling like he had to walk on eggshells every time he was around luke. tired of keeping everything in. tired of pretending everything was ok when it wasn’t. 

he cried because he was so painfully in love with luke and he didn't know what to do anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> angst is my bestie 😌 all in good time.......i'm not sure how long this fic will be but if you guys have any suggestions on what you want to see next or even just other ideas in general for separate fics let me know!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi besties i know it's been a while but hopefully you like this chapter :) i'll try to update more often school is just annoying asf. comments & kudos are greatly appreciated <3

as soon as reggie got home he went straight to his room and closed the door. he didn’t feel like washing off the dried up tears on his face because he was too exhausted from tonight.

reggie felt lost. 

he tried to fall asleep but his mind felt too chaotic. 

apparently so was luke’s because reggie heard a soft knock at his window.

there awkwardly perched by his windowsill was luke. 

reggie knew he didn’t owe luke anything. at least he didn’t feel like he did. he didn’t have anything left to say. 

reggie debated on whether to let him in or not. eventually he decided that he would let him in because he felt like a shitty person if he didn’t. and maybe he just wanted to humor luke a little.

luke climbed out of the window and reggie did his best to act like he wasn’t just crying. 

of course luke could see right through his act. it was funny, luke always seemed to see reggie past the front he put up. 

“have you been crying reg?” luke asked. 

reggie became a little defensive. “wouldn’t you like to know?” 

there was a beat of silence and then, “why are you here luke?”

“i wanted to say i was sorry. i’m sorry that i made you run out like that and i- i shouldn’t have acted like such a jerk. i’ve just been going through some things and you know, i’ve been just confused about...a lot and i didn’t have the right to take out my anger on anyone. especially you.”

“ok.”

“ok?”

reggie sighed. “yeah. i appreciate you coming here and um, you know, clearing things up?” 

reggie moved away from his bed and stood a little closer to luke but still keeping a fair amount of distance.

“luke i hope you know that you can tell me anything right? if something’s going on i’m here to help no matter how shitty you may have acted towards me.” 

luke grinned. “yeah i know. thanks reg.”

reggie turned away to absentmindedly fiddle with the cds on his bookshelf. he wasn’t sure whether to ask luke if he wanted to stay. before reggie could figure out any further what to do luke mumbled something.

reggie turned around.

“what?”

there was a drawn out silence as reggie’s gaze remained fixed upon luke. 

reggie saw something in luke’s expression he rarely ever came across.

_he was nervous._

“luke?” 

“i’m pan.” 

luke turned his gaze from the floor to reggie. he could feel his hands shaking a little and his whole body felt like it was on fire.

reggie came out as bi to him and alex a year ago. luke knew he had no reason to be scared to tell reggie but that feeling still lingered beneath the surface and he couldn’t help it. what if reggie _did_ reject him? 

reggie noticed luke’s expression.

_he was scared._

reggie almost punched himself for not automatically reassuring him that he was still the same luke no matter what sexuality he defined himself as. 

reggie did what he knew best.

he slowly walked up to luke and embraced him in the softest hug that he could possibly give.

he murmured into luke’s shoulder, “i’m so proud of you. thank you for feeling like you could tell me.”

luke melted into the hug. he felt a few tears escape from his face onto reggie’s worn out t-shirt but he couldn’t stop smiling.


End file.
